Family
By Doris Michel
The first problem with the second child is the right time. Is it him, the perfect Altersabstand between siblings?
«Close relationships need interest, Exchange, conflict and reconciliation»: brothers and sisters, Luciano and Dalia.
Best blow by blow: every one and a half years a child, then everyone in the school are - such as four children - after twelve years. The parents at the beginning of timely now only mid forty, have time for themselves and can focus on their profession. Assumes that the supporters of this form of family planning by the motto: everything in an Aufwasch means a few years of extreme stress, possibilities new parents after the family phase but. Other proponents of the peaceful planning of of phases of. Here it is: first, a child can enjoy and then again more attention give the body of the mother, the relationship of the parents and the profession, before - after four to five years maybe - the next child comes.
Let's be honest: plans work only rarely and when the children even more rare. Some couples have to wait long for a baby, some women on the right man, and some beats having a a faster than expected and desirable. A small breakdown of prevention and have each plan remains just plan. A little «force majeure» in family planning is always in the game. Yet all parents well, wonder if it because not to be one: what is the ideal Altersabstand between the siblings?
According to polls, the ideal family looks like this: two children at intervals of two years, a boy and a girl. Two years in between I think optimal», a «Marita2», mother of Louise, writes in an Internet Forum 5, and Céline, 3. «at the beginning it was hard though, because the big baby wanted to be again.» But now Gabby is totally proud on his sister and the two super play.» «I don't think so», «Chiara» answers «Two winding children are terrible. I'm glad that four years are with us in between. This protects the nerves. Maybe even a still a long distance would be good.»
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Yes, what is it now? Wait briefly between the children? Medium length? Very long? There is not the ideal Altersabstand. The Munich-based siblings Hartmut Kasten explains researcher though, that three or four years as cheap apply: «this Altersabstand has proved in practice often optimal, because often he contributes that the siblings get along particularly well with each other, not so often rival and much together start can.» The difference amounts to more than six or seven years, the younger sibling have hardly affect the personality of the older, so box. He is also to bear in mind that the age difference is only one of many factors that characterizes the relationship between siblings.
It is clear: the closer the children are altersmässig, the harder is the first months and years. Starts to crawl the baby just on and the second announced, that is for the parents: wrap and feed in a Twin Pack, both carry up the stairs, two high chairs at the table, a second cot in the room, either buy a stroller for two or push the «large» in the buggy and take the baby in the sling. You can forget about sleeping. Travel also. And to find a babysitter, who feels loose two young children at the same time has grown, is similarly rare as a lottery prize.
Provided that such a feat of strength can be ripped, is of course, that the woman already has recovered from the last pregnancy and birth. Midwives recommend at least half a year, better nine months after birth to prevent until the hormone levels again moves in an orderly. And to immediately resolve the beautiful old wives Tales: no, breastfeeding is unfortunately not a contraceptive. After a caesarean the break should take rather longer, until the wound is completely healed at least a year, experts advise. British researchers of the Cambridge University have to be warned, after the birth of a child once again pregnant women even before then. According to their study the complications increased significantly during pregnancy and at birth; Preterm and underweight children were frequent. As the most likely cause, the researchers assumed that women could not sufficiently recover after the first pregnancy.
Some woman feels fit again but just a few months after the birth, that she is ready to take the next "big project" in attack. If and when a family dares to a next child is not only a matter of physical strength, but also the professional situation and above all the helping hands that are around ready to one and tackle, if one of the Dwarfs is just a bout of vigorous world anger experienced or sick or just be retard wants to be.
And finally the time for parents working. Children are still grown. The first years pass faster than the sleep from your eyes fades the parents. And then the sibling playmates, model, Liebesobjekt and military partner in one. They go together in the school, they learn cycling at the same time, they find the same music cool, exchanging the clothes, get mutual advice in the first amorous flight tests. A sister, with the one from the outset Trudges through life, a brother who shares by small on the same memories: This is a strong band that later, when the storms are perhaps something fierce, holds. Can a such close relationship but also grow in siblings who are several years apart. Common childhood games are not enough there and also shared experiences do not guarantee that you can experience the sister in the age still as closest confidante. It takes what is especially important in life; conversations, interest together and the regular exchange of and it takes armed even with subsequent reconciliation.
The Altersabstand among siblings is always less important over the years. As an adult he hardly a role. In this respect, parents can tilt confidently all stereotypes, fears, and fixed ideas about the perfect timing of the next child of the head. If it fits, it fits. And if it fits for the parents, it fits for the kids also.
O(HR) hurt! Otitis media is very painful. (Image: iStockphoto)
